G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Hmm, I don't know where to start on this one.

G. I. Joe: Retaliation, directed by Jon. M. Chu, did not quite reach it's full potential, in my opinion. I also didn't like the first installment in this series so I wasn't too surprised to find myself not wowed by this one. I wanted to go see it because it looked like it could have some decent action scenes and I have never minded a little Channing Tatum on the big screen(yum). However, it fell short of amazing.

My plot review for this movie will be a little shorter than my previous entry... hopefully =)

G.I. Joe Retaliation starts out with the G. I. Joe force breaking into an enemy camp, as is typical for any army based movie. Start it with some action. Okay, so that part is pretty uneventful. Tried to throw some comedy in there between Duke (Channing Tatum) and Roadblock (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) as well as a small laugh by the enemy flag being replaced by the G. I. Joe flag.

After the opening credits, during which you find out the two Cobra officials unaccounted for are Storm Shadow and Zartan, it goes to the White House, where the president and his council decides to blame the G. I. Joe squad for the death of the Pakistani president. So, the president makes the order to bomb their camp. The attack is completed unexpected and all except for Flint (D.J. Cotrona), Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki) and Roadblock (Block). No more Duke. So, within the first fifteen minutes, I've already lost one of my two reasons to watch the movie. And action alone isn't enough to make a good movie.

Anyway, this group of G.I. Joes gets away from the camp and immediately knows that something is wrong with the president. (Oops.. forgot to say, the president has already been revealed as a fake. While he keeps the real one locked up, he digitally alters his appearance and runs the country with the interests of Cobra in the front of his mind.) So, they quickly find a way to get back to the United States (a convenient airport less than a day's walk from their destroyed camp).

Meanwhile, Snake Eyes has been captured, and they take him to the prison in Germany where the Cobra Commander and one other Cobra head honcho who's name escapes me, are also being held captive. The most secure prison in the world as it is miles under the surface of the earth. However, when they get Snake Eyes into the same room as the Cobra Commander, it is revealed that he isn't Snake Eyes at all! But rather his arch nemesis, Storm Shadow. Dun dun dun. So, they put him in prison instead.

While this is happening, you see a motor bike approaching the prison, and once he is close to the gate, he releases a swarm of mechanical fireflies. At the same time, Storm Shadow convinces the guards that he is dead, and when the go to see what's up, he kills them all. The fireflies are actually little bombs that blow up the whole surface section of the prison, and Firefly (the man on the motorcycle) goes down and helps Storm Shadow free the Cobra Commander. The leave the other guy there to die because apparently he did bad. Alrighty, during their escape, Storm Shadow is severely burned on his back so they send him to the mountains to heal. And Snake Eyes sees all of this as he is also outside of the prison. Popular place for being top secret.

During this time Lady Jaye decides to pretend to be a reporter at an event that the president is at so she can get further evidence that his is not himself. She collects a hair and the find out he is none other than... Zartan! Oh my, didn't see that one coming. Then there is a creepy scene where Flint watches her undress but nothing ever comes of that.

Snake Eyes makes a plan with both his mentor and fellow student Jinx to capture Storm Shadow and get him on their side so they can figure out what Cobra's plan is. Some kinda neat ninja-running-on-sides-of-cliffs scene, and they are successful. So, the three of them (Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, and Jinx) meet up with Jaye, Block, and Flint and make a plan to take down Cobra. They go get some help from the first Joe, General Colton (Bruce Willis). So, now we have a team of super badasses who basically cannot fail.

First let me tell you what Cobra is planning. They have pretty much built a super weapon that is in space, and they are planning on bombing all of the countries with nukes and take over the world. But first, they call a nuclear council meeting, and convince everyone else to launch their nukes at each other, then guilts them into self destructing the missiles before the can do damage. Now no one has any weapons. Except Cobra.

Luckily, the Joes get there after only one country has been destroyed. Cobra Commander flees the scene and Firefly takes off with the briefcase that has the power to launch the missiles. Luckily, they do at least get to kill Zartan and save the president. Then Block goes after Firefly. Blows him up with his own firefly bomb, and saves the day by overriding the system in the nick of time. All the Joes are recognized with medals and everyone is happy. End of story.



I'll admit, the main reason I didn't like this movie is because of the similarities it had with A-Team, Red, and The Losers. Apparently the hot plot line right now is to paint the heroes in a bad light at the beginning of the movie so that they can't be trusted anywhere they go. G.I. Joe isn't supposed to be a serious movie. And I think they were too careful with it. It was boring. Movies about elite soldiers should never be boring.

Plus, when you have an attractive set of characters, such as Jaye, Flint, and (for some) Block, you have to incorporate some sex into it. Watching Jaye undress in the reflection on the TV screen just doesn't cut it from me. Come on people, you already have the PG-13 rating. Cut out the unnecessary scene where Block meets up with old friends for a place to stay and throw in some steamy sex scene. Just my opinion.

Maybe what I'm trying to say is the movie is lacking emotion. Movies that stick with you are movies that make you feel for the characters. I just didn't have that with this movie. Even with Block and his kids, there was just something missing. So, I think they need to work harder on the next one (I'm sure it's coming since Cobra Commander escaped) and make you fall in love with the characters. Other action movies do it.


Overall, I would give it a five out of ten. And I apologize for not making that any shorter. I did try.

Once again, thank you for reading. Comments always appreciated. =)